If you’ve been playing in the shallow end of the swapping pool for a while, you might be gearing up to take things to the next level. Our goal is to try and give you a better look into what can be expected out of your first hard swap!
First, a quick look into how things function. Everyone knows that swinging is considered to be a lifestyle – that’s because this form of polyamory is vastly different from what most consider to be a traditional monogamous relationship. And that’s totally okay! Having a swap means that you’ve got a committed partner, but that you’re also up for and actively having bouts of sexual play with other partners, too. It’s a totally consensual thing and something that’s spoken about before hand. Swinging is not cheating. It’s a-okay for all parties involved and only comes about after a fair few discussions on the subject.
In fact, if you’re looking to try and bring up swinging with one of your partners, why not suggest they check out a few of our videos? That way, they can learn about the lifestyle from an educated inside source! It might just help you open their eyes to the possibilities of bringing in another party.
We’re going to move on pretty quick though and get to the juicy answers you’re looking for! Have you ever heard the term hard swap before? As far as swinging goes, the two most commonly used terms are soft swaps – when penetrative sex is off the table, but hands are most certainly allowed – and hard swaps, which is a step in the next direction. It basically means that everything is on the table. Not only are you willing to kiss and touch with your partner, but penetrative sex is also something that you’re ready for. It’s not uncommon to build up to this sort of swap and then get a case of the nerves right beforehand! That’s okay!
One of the best things about swinging is that you can move at your own pace. Take your time building up to a hard swap and make sure that it’s right for you – and for your partner! Before you make the plunge to having a hard swap, it’s important to grab your partner and rehash things, making sure that everyone is still onboard. The last thing anyone wants to come out of a swap is hurt feelings! This conversation can also help you be certain that a swap is the right choice to make.
Having a talk right after your first hard swap is important, too!
If your partner admits that it wasn’t as much fun as they thought, and that they couldn’t help but be jealous, than you might want to consider stepping back and staying as a soft swinger, or even just returning to a monogamous lifestyle. What you want is important, and so is what your partner wants. Discussions will help keep things healthy, happy, and consensual.
But you probably know there’s a risk that it won’t happen again or end up being as much fun as originally hoped. Aren’t you curious what what could happen if everyone has fun?
A lot of people report that after a hard swing, their sexual partner is more eager to have a one on one romp in the sheets with them. It could help rekindle a spark that had faded a little over time, and help build up a stronger, more intimate relationship with your ‘main’ partner. It can rejuvenate and strengthen the love that you have for them.
If that’s how it goes down, and you’re partner is as invested in having a few more hard swings as you are, then it’s time to figure out how often you want to do this! Some people hook up every weekend, others make it a monthly thing, or even only do it once or twice a year. There are no hard set rules for this portion of events, so it’s perfectly fine to play around with the frequency of things and see exactly what works for you.
As always, if you’ve enjoyed hearing the down and dirty about having a hard swap, remember to subscribe to our channel and keep an eye out for future swinging posts! We want to know – did your first hard swap play out the way you had it pictured in your head?