When people think about BDSM, they often think about getting off. The inherent sex appeal of being tied up, of playing with wax, or of getting a little roughed up. But there’s a section of the kink community that is, for the most part, looking for something a little different. Almost the ‘opposite’ end of the spectrum, so to speak.
This is the sect of the community interested in chastity as a concept. It doesn’t completely remove the allure of sex from your play, but rather puts a tighter constraint onto what you’re allowed to get off too, where you can touch yourself, and when it can happen. These are people who make certain that they’re unable to have an orgasm without explicit permission; not just with other people, but even preventing them from getting off themselves.
Chastity devices are the toy most commonly associated with this sort of play, and they can work for both men and female.
First, we’re going to take a gander at the concept of a chastity cage.
As the name suggests, these are cages that are roughly shaped like a penis, and made from either a stiff plastic or a sort of metal. These cages completely enclose the penis, making it impossible to gain any form of stimulation, let alone enough to reach orgasm. These cages are held in place by a ring which wraps around the scrotum and the base of the penis, settling behind the testicles themselves.
Despite how that might sound, these cages aren’t meant for discomfort and can even be worn twenty four seven if the couple wishes.
When it comes to women, chastity belts are some of the most often used. The new styles are sleek, neat, hygienic, and can be worn for up to a week at a time. The design is fairly straight forward. It’s a belt that hooks around the waist, and a strap that attaches to the belt, both in the front and the back, closing off access to the vagina. Most chastity belts still allow daily functions to occur – they just prevent anything from going in.
These belts come with a lock and key; much like the cages that men wear, these keys are then given the the significant other involved in the play. The keys are the only way to unlock the belt. Most sets come with a spare, which can be stored away for emergencies, and if both keys get lost, many of the toys are easy enough to remove with a set of pliers or tools snagged form the shed.
Safety really is the top concern!
So, now that you know what kind of toys can serve as cages, we’ve come to a new question. What’s the real appeal in chastity?
For most, it’s the exchange of power. You’re taking something that is pivotal to your relationship, and essentially turning all of your trust over and giving it to this other person. You’re putting all of the pleasure that you feel in their hands. The only person who can take off your chastity device and bring you that sweet rush of relief is them.
It can be useful for people who enjoying the act of edging, good for M/S or D/S play, or simply be an act of play all on its own. Like all games, serious discussion should take place ahead of time, so a time limit for the games can be established – and safe words should always be respected if your partner just can’t hold off on that itch any longer and needs the device removed early.
They can be a surprisingly effective way to bring more heat into the bedroom – and might even help keep your games alive during periods of travel, when you aren’t able to be up close and personal with each other. It keeps your partner worked up enough that they’ll be dying to see you once you get back!
When you’re picking out the chastity device, make sure to test out the fit before jumping straight into play. You want to make sure that the device itself is suitable for your other daily activities, such as work, and won’t put you in a situation that will bring about too many raised brows if it doesn’t fit under your clothing correctly. Testing out the make and design of a few devices ahead of play time will also ensure that the fit is comfortable and doesn’t rub up against any of the wrong spots.